the end of school cannot come quick enough for me.
i used to love school and never ever want to leave. now i have had enough, i am sick of being treated like a 10 year old, i hate being shouted at like I'm a little kid and you cant shout back because you get in worse trouble so you have to stand there and take their shit when your just dying to scream FUCK OFF.
i got a referral today, a referral? wow not had one of them since 1st year, I'm so hurt, that referral has ruined my life and hurt me so much NAT. then teachers talk about Mr Gilmoure like hes going to come and eat you and you'll be sorry you ever breathed when you come across him, today i saw Mr Gilmoure, he laughed at me, told me to stop winding people up and have fun washing cars. he is a hero.
and then fucking arseholes make things up about you EW go and die.
teachers are pricks, they think they have authority over everyone, tbh they don't, there shit, they have no life, they have a shit job, no life, no friends, they shout at people to make them feel better about themselves and to make it look like they are in charge of something, they blow things out of proportion and take things wayy too far when you do the smallest thing wrong like turning up late, even though we got all the work finished when we got there, in 20 minutes which i think is pretty impressive tbh, we still get a referral and threatened to be moved class, if i get moved class i am dropping business, i am predicted an A so they will look shit when i have left and hardly anyone in the class gets an A because there all shit cunts.
6 weeks and 3 days to go.
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Sunday, 29 March 2009
AHH
i am being stalked.
when i go on msn i receive about 5 messages within about 10 minutes and i don't ever answer, then i get comments on bebo, then i get texts.
i get texts at random points in the day with updates in life.
i think it is probably because she is desperate for friends and that's just the way she is with her friends and she values my friendship which is nice. at the same time, it's kinda creepy. i wouldn't class her as my bbfe, i would put her in the category of an acquaintance, someone i know and talk to at school and say hiya to on the street not someone i would spend my weekends with and sit on the phone to for hours.
maybe she will calm down soon. maybe she fancies me hahaha.
when i go on msn i receive about 5 messages within about 10 minutes and i don't ever answer, then i get comments on bebo, then i get texts.
i get texts at random points in the day with updates in life.
i think it is probably because she is desperate for friends and that's just the way she is with her friends and she values my friendship which is nice. at the same time, it's kinda creepy. i wouldn't class her as my bbfe, i would put her in the category of an acquaintance, someone i know and talk to at school and say hiya to on the street not someone i would spend my weekends with and sit on the phone to for hours.
maybe she will calm down soon. maybe she fancies me hahaha.
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
25.3.09
i am soo tired these days. school is too hard and i hate it, although we got our leavers hoodies today, there AMAZING, i will be pretty comfy at school now. everyone was soo excited it was funny all over a jumper that wasn't really worth the money to be honest haha.
i hate people, i hate everyone. hates a bit strong actually. friends who make no effort whatsoever i just cannot be bothered with, i give up i refuse to care about people who do not give a shit about me anymore.
i got new shoes they are amazing, i love them loads i cannot wait to wear them. I'm going to Jami es party on Saturday with Kim the only person i will know will be Kim, so I'm not sure it it will be that good, probably will be though.
i cannot wait until i can drive it will be the best day of my life when i pass my test i will drive everywhere, i will never be bored, I'm pretty much bored all the time i never do anything with my life. it's shit.
there are very few people in the world i can rely on, apart from my family i have Kim, Hayley, Aimie (even though shes about to fuck off to Belfast and she annoyed me alot for a while but i like her now) and Becky, they are probably the only people i could tell anything too and i can rely on to always be there no matter what, and who will never bump me or anything (even though hayley did once but shes not into that anymore). that is another reason why i cant wait to drive because i will get to see them more because i will zoom on down to their house.
Becky was drunk at dancing tonight it was pretty funny.
i really need to do more exercise, I've started to eat healthier but i never do exercise so it's not really going to make a difference because I'm not moving but i actually have no motivation whatsoever AHHHH.
i love Alan sugar he is my hero.
that's all for now.
i hate people, i hate everyone. hates a bit strong actually. friends who make no effort whatsoever i just cannot be bothered with, i give up i refuse to care about people who do not give a shit about me anymore.
i got new shoes they are amazing, i love them loads i cannot wait to wear them. I'm going to Jami es party on Saturday with Kim the only person i will know will be Kim, so I'm not sure it it will be that good, probably will be though.
i cannot wait until i can drive it will be the best day of my life when i pass my test i will drive everywhere, i will never be bored, I'm pretty much bored all the time i never do anything with my life. it's shit.
there are very few people in the world i can rely on, apart from my family i have Kim, Hayley, Aimie (even though shes about to fuck off to Belfast and she annoyed me alot for a while but i like her now) and Becky, they are probably the only people i could tell anything too and i can rely on to always be there no matter what, and who will never bump me or anything (even though hayley did once but shes not into that anymore). that is another reason why i cant wait to drive because i will get to see them more because i will zoom on down to their house.
Becky was drunk at dancing tonight it was pretty funny.
i really need to do more exercise, I've started to eat healthier but i never do exercise so it's not really going to make a difference because I'm not moving but i actually have no motivation whatsoever AHHHH.
i love Alan sugar he is my hero.
that's all for now.
Friday, 20 March 2009
20.03.09
i feel like shit these days. i always feel sick after i eat, i hate it. i hate myself, i hate the way i look, I'm too fat but i can never be bothered to exercise i need to do something soon though. today i had a sore back and sore legs and a sore arm it was shit.
also people annoy me, pretty much everyone is pissing me off. people that just make no effort to keep hold of their pals whatsoever, i cannot be bothered anymore, i am not making an effort to be friends with people if they arn't making an effort to be friends with me.
so these days i just generally feel like shit. but i always pretend I'm fine, i always smile and act like everything is OK,because that's what i do.
i have a shopping addiction, if i do not buy something new every week i feel empty and upset until i buy something then i feel happy. if it gets to the end of the week and i haven't bought anything i will go out and buy something unsure of whether or not i like it. i go up town pretty much every week and it is rare you will see me wearing the same outfit twice. i have already bought white converse, they are beautiful but they arn't here yet so it doesn't really count as a purchase. i am now pondering over these shoes
they are pretty braw, i don't know if there high enough though, i don't like shoes with low heels. i will probably end up buying them by the end of tonight.
tonight my mum made the hottest chili ever, i thought i was going to die, i was on fire.
the fact that i have about 6 weeks left of school scares the total shit out of me. i am soo worried, today in maths we finished the course, i learnt the last maths thing ever today, that is pretty scary. i don't know if i will pass all my exams, i hope i will but I'm just not sure.
i also have my theory soon. i am not telling everyone when it is, i cannot be bothered because then i will have to tell everybody when i fail. so i need to study for that hopefully i will pass. i cannot wait to drive, it will be amazing, i will drive allll the time, all night long. it means i will get to see Kim and Becky loads more too because i will drive to visit them on a regular basis.
think that's all for now.
also people annoy me, pretty much everyone is pissing me off. people that just make no effort to keep hold of their pals whatsoever, i cannot be bothered anymore, i am not making an effort to be friends with people if they arn't making an effort to be friends with me.
so these days i just generally feel like shit. but i always pretend I'm fine, i always smile and act like everything is OK,because that's what i do.
i have a shopping addiction, if i do not buy something new every week i feel empty and upset until i buy something then i feel happy. if it gets to the end of the week and i haven't bought anything i will go out and buy something unsure of whether or not i like it. i go up town pretty much every week and it is rare you will see me wearing the same outfit twice. i have already bought white converse, they are beautiful but they arn't here yet so it doesn't really count as a purchase. i am now pondering over these shoes
they are pretty braw, i don't know if there high enough though, i don't like shoes with low heels. i will probably end up buying them by the end of tonight.
tonight my mum made the hottest chili ever, i thought i was going to die, i was on fire.
the fact that i have about 6 weeks left of school scares the total shit out of me. i am soo worried, today in maths we finished the course, i learnt the last maths thing ever today, that is pretty scary. i don't know if i will pass all my exams, i hope i will but I'm just not sure.
i also have my theory soon. i am not telling everyone when it is, i cannot be bothered because then i will have to tell everybody when i fail. so i need to study for that hopefully i will pass. i cannot wait to drive, it will be amazing, i will drive allll the time, all night long. it means i will get to see Kim and Becky loads more too because i will drive to visit them on a regular basis.
think that's all for now.
Thursday, 12 March 2009
AHH
why am i so tired all the time? it's so annying, all i ever want to do is sleep, i'm a lazy fat bastard and i dont like it :(
Sunday, 8 March 2009
sleep
this weekend i have probably had a total of 5 hours sleep. on Saturday i went too bed at about 4ish and had to wake up at 8 to go to work. on Saturday i had no sleep at all.
Friday was a good night, i didn't want too get drunk but i did. started off in the watering hole which is always a laugh then on to Johnston's, i love jiggies. we then went to life and my brother had disappeared and went home so we went home to get him about 12, we got home about 1 and my brother and Jen went to bed. me and Darren decided it would be funny to play hide and seek, Darren stayed until 4. i pulled Darren, I'm not proud of it but i don't majorly regret it. i thought i was going to regret it because hes my brothers best pal and you just don't do that, but my brother doesn't know plus it isn't awkward between me and Darren, he phoned me on Saturday and still talks to me on msn so it's OK, he hasn't mentioned it at all, i think he just wants to forget it too.
work on Saturday was nae bad, it went pretty slow the majority of the time and i was hungover and really tired.
Saturday i came back from work and got ready to to go Hayley's her mummy came and picked me up about 8 and we went through, i got a Chinese, it was shite and cost me £8.90 for ribs and rice, BUMP. Hayley's mum and auntie were coming up the town with us so we couldn't go to jiggies first because there too old to go there haha. Hayley had to get her hair done and the wife took ages so we didn't get out until about half 10, our plan was Lorenzo's, bump Hayley's mum then jiggies. we went to lorenzos and got ID'd :(, then we went to somewhere else, it was pretty shit, then brass house, i was standing inside waiting for Hayley and she got ID'd so i had to come out, although it was her 18Th she has nae ID. so jiggies it was. Hayley was treating Darren like shit and it made me feel in a bad mood, she kept shouting at him and he hadn't done anything at all, then she kept going away in jiggies and i was standing with him, i felt soo sorry for him because he does not deserve to be treated like that, she should be treating that boy like a king after what shes done to him. Hayley and Darren argued because thats what people in relationships do so me and Sherry done it too. i went to get kim outside lorenzos and waited about 40 minutes on a taxi, i have never been so cold in my life, i wanted to kill myself. we got back to Hayley's and there was alot of people there, i was totally sober because i had only had about 4 drinks so i just put my Jammie's on and sat on the couch and observed. Kim was really really drunk it was pretty funny, everyone shaved their heads and pubes, i went to bed about 6 but i didn't go to sleep at all because Sherry kept waking me up, i slept for about 5 minutes and Sherry thought it would be funny to kiss me to wake me up so we stayed up for the rest of the night and talked about silly things and snuggled, it was nice. i don't know why me and Mark pull every week were with each other, apparently he pulls a girl once and never again. don't like calling him Mark, i don know why though. he makes me giggle, hes the male version of me.
work today was OK, i went to sleep on my break because i thought i was going to die, i was serving people and it was like i was in a dream, it was horrible.
Friday was a good night, i didn't want too get drunk but i did. started off in the watering hole which is always a laugh then on to Johnston's, i love jiggies. we then went to life and my brother had disappeared and went home so we went home to get him about 12, we got home about 1 and my brother and Jen went to bed. me and Darren decided it would be funny to play hide and seek, Darren stayed until 4. i pulled Darren, I'm not proud of it but i don't majorly regret it. i thought i was going to regret it because hes my brothers best pal and you just don't do that, but my brother doesn't know plus it isn't awkward between me and Darren, he phoned me on Saturday and still talks to me on msn so it's OK, he hasn't mentioned it at all, i think he just wants to forget it too.
work on Saturday was nae bad, it went pretty slow the majority of the time and i was hungover and really tired.
Saturday i came back from work and got ready to to go Hayley's her mummy came and picked me up about 8 and we went through, i got a Chinese, it was shite and cost me £8.90 for ribs and rice, BUMP. Hayley's mum and auntie were coming up the town with us so we couldn't go to jiggies first because there too old to go there haha. Hayley had to get her hair done and the wife took ages so we didn't get out until about half 10, our plan was Lorenzo's, bump Hayley's mum then jiggies. we went to lorenzos and got ID'd :(, then we went to somewhere else, it was pretty shit, then brass house, i was standing inside waiting for Hayley and she got ID'd so i had to come out, although it was her 18Th she has nae ID. so jiggies it was. Hayley was treating Darren like shit and it made me feel in a bad mood, she kept shouting at him and he hadn't done anything at all, then she kept going away in jiggies and i was standing with him, i felt soo sorry for him because he does not deserve to be treated like that, she should be treating that boy like a king after what shes done to him. Hayley and Darren argued because thats what people in relationships do so me and Sherry done it too. i went to get kim outside lorenzos and waited about 40 minutes on a taxi, i have never been so cold in my life, i wanted to kill myself. we got back to Hayley's and there was alot of people there, i was totally sober because i had only had about 4 drinks so i just put my Jammie's on and sat on the couch and observed. Kim was really really drunk it was pretty funny, everyone shaved their heads and pubes, i went to bed about 6 but i didn't go to sleep at all because Sherry kept waking me up, i slept for about 5 minutes and Sherry thought it would be funny to kiss me to wake me up so we stayed up for the rest of the night and talked about silly things and snuggled, it was nice. i don't know why me and Mark pull every week were with each other, apparently he pulls a girl once and never again. don't like calling him Mark, i don know why though. he makes me giggle, hes the male version of me.
work today was OK, i went to sleep on my break because i thought i was going to die, i was serving people and it was like i was in a dream, it was horrible.
Sunday, 1 March 2009
BUMP
you know what i hate? people who have boyfriends and bump their pals, no boyfriend is ever more important than your pals, especially when your fucking 16 it's not like your going to get married, so then you will be all lovey and bumping your pals then when youse finish you'll be all heartbroken and wanting to be my pal again.
why do people do that to me? this is the second time, is it me? do i like push people away haha, maybe i just pick the wrong pals. i have just received a comment on bebo that says "i miss you a bit" a bit? i have saw you once in 2009 and you live in my street and you only miss me a bit? tbh a bit quite frankly is not good enough. some people really need to re-think their actions and sort their priorities out. people who bump their pals for their boyfriend do not deserve to have pals in my opinion. AHHHH
that is the main reason why i am so anti-boyfriend, that and the fact that the majority of boys are dicks, but i would hate to not be able to do what i want and always have to worry about what my boyfriend thinks and worry about having to go and see him and I'd hate for my pals to think i was bumping them because that would be shit banter.
I'm soo tired, Chris' party last night was very good :). i was pretty drunk, not as drunk as Claire though, nobody was haha. we walked up the town at 1.30 to get food, i had the most amazing burger ever, i also did not know i knew so many people haha like everyone that walked out of Johnston's i knew, it was amazing.
i got my converse today, I'm very happy with them, they only cost me £18 too which is good because they should be £40.
I'm going to go to sleep now:)
why do people do that to me? this is the second time, is it me? do i like push people away haha, maybe i just pick the wrong pals. i have just received a comment on bebo that says "i miss you a bit" a bit? i have saw you once in 2009 and you live in my street and you only miss me a bit? tbh a bit quite frankly is not good enough. some people really need to re-think their actions and sort their priorities out. people who bump their pals for their boyfriend do not deserve to have pals in my opinion. AHHHH
that is the main reason why i am so anti-boyfriend, that and the fact that the majority of boys are dicks, but i would hate to not be able to do what i want and always have to worry about what my boyfriend thinks and worry about having to go and see him and I'd hate for my pals to think i was bumping them because that would be shit banter.
I'm soo tired, Chris' party last night was very good :). i was pretty drunk, not as drunk as Claire though, nobody was haha. we walked up the town at 1.30 to get food, i had the most amazing burger ever, i also did not know i knew so many people haha like everyone that walked out of Johnston's i knew, it was amazing.
i got my converse today, I'm very happy with them, they only cost me £18 too which is good because they should be £40.
I'm going to go to sleep now:)
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