20/12/09

wow not wrote one of these for ages! it's December, Christmas on thursdayy ahh this year has gone so fast, at college now, i love it, was soo scared on my first day, went to the wrong college ahaha arsehole but now it's good, college nights out are amazing, i do however need to stop pulling the boys in my class, except from one (L) ahhh.

i cant be bothered with Christmas, i have like nae presents for anyone, going shopping tomorrow with Becky.

went to Belfast a couple of weeks ago, i totally wasn't looking forward to it but it was amazing, just wish i had more money when i was there.

mark and Leroy are at uni, its shit, i don't like it, i miss them

I'm so tired right now, i never went to sleep on Friday me and Lewis stayed up all night, i felt about 12 years old doing an all nighter soo cool, naat.

still need to find something to do for new years eve
thats all i have to say right now, nothing exciting has happened to me for a while.

21.9.09

i haven't wrote on this in a while.

I'm at college now, it's quite good, i have pals which is good. theres a guy with an Afro i really really want to touch his hair.

Newcastle for my birthday was amazing, i want to go back.

mark and Leroy are away to uni, i miss them soo much, loads more than what i thought i would, it's horrible.

me and Hayley have fell out haha, it hasn't effected my week whatsoever, I'm worried in case she kills herself though cos she said she was going to, i think she just loves attention though.

being 18 feels amazing.

tomorrow i have my key holder interview, i hope i pass.

08.09.09

i'm 18 now, yasssss. i havn't been id'd raging, not even in asda. cunts.

mark and leroy move to uni on saturday, i am going to cry hunners, ahhh. bastards.

02.09.09

i haven't wrote a blog for a while cos i don't have an exciting life.

I've started college, this week is my first week, it's OK, looks like it's going to be pretty hard but i should be OK, hopefully :).

it's my birthday on Sunday that's 4 days away :) AHHHH I'm actually so excited, i don't know what I'm getting which is even more exciting, i like a surprise. Newcastle next week I'm also extremely excited for that, until everyone annoys me again and makes me not want to go. on the 22nd big al is coming to do my interview to become a key holder of Claire's accessories, how exciting,

mark and Leroy go to uni in like two weeks, that will be a pretty upsetting day, i will miss them an unexplainable amount. i am however going to buy them housewarming presents and go and visit but I'm not allowed to sleepover :(.

that is all for today.

15.08.09

this isnt going to be a long yin. nothing exciting really happens to me.

i'm becoming a keyholder of claires accessories woot woo.

i got a new phone, about time.

went to beckys tonight had a huge heart to heart with everyone, kim cried, watching her cry made my eyes fill up, i dont like it, kim never cried.

i got to tell hayley how i really felt about her and darren and how much he loves her and how shit i feel bla bla bla.

i stole a mug from hayleys mum that says "well hung and tender" its about beef, its nice.

goodnight.

5.8.09

today was exam results day, i was absalutley shitting myself. i got a text at 8 this morning telling me what i got, i read it thought shit then went back to sleep, my mum woke me up at 9 and she read the text, then my horrendous day started, she was like "thats ridiculas, you obviously didn't try hard enough.." then i stopped listening and she left and i cryed.

i got:

business:C
modern:B
failed maths and english

HORRENDOUS

hopefully i'll get my appeal for maths cos i got a B in the prelim so that should bring that up to a pass and i got a B in my business prelim so hopefully i can bring that up to a B then i will be happy. i'm total proud of myself for modern though cos i was failing all year, i was barely scraping a C then i pull out a cheeky B. so today i've spent the whole day crying and arguing with my mum and dad cos they wont shut up.

on the bright side my driving lesson was amaizng today, i barely done anything wrong. i'll book my test soon woot woo.

marks away on holiday, i miss him.

foam party at lourenzos on friday was amazing, saturday was not so good. i have 9 bruises in total thanks to the foam and being caught up in a fight on saturday night. AMAZING.

i'm going to my grans for tea tonight, shes the only positive person atm.

13.7.09

just back from t in the park. what an amazing weekend.

Friday we arrived and pitched up in indigo, with steph her boyfriend and her pals, we relaxed had a drink then headed to the main arena, i was with steph and Shaun because i knew nobody, they were all over each other constantly and i just had to stand there like a total arsehole it was horrendous, i considered going home.

then we went back to the tent and shock steph and Shaun wanted to go to bed,and cos i didn't know anybody else in our bit and my phone was out of charge to phone my cousin i went too. at 12 o'clock, i woke up after sleeping for about half and hour and went and sat outside the tent where i got to know the lads and we decided to go to boom town so i left steph and Shaun.

Saturday: i was dreading spending the day with steph and Shaun again. steph got drunk off 2 glasses of wine and felt sorry for her self so i shouted at her for a bit and told her to get a grip. we went to walk to see lady gaga who i am not a fan of and the walk from the campsite to the main gates was quite frankly enough for me of steph and Shaun so i left and went back to camp and spent the rest of my day with the lads, who were also pissed off with steph and shaun. she never phoned me or text me once to see if i was OK or who i was with.

Sunday: it was pissing down with rain which was not cool, however it was the day i would see Pete doherty, i absolutely love him, as soon as he came on stage i was mesmerised, i would run away with him if he asked.

overall it was a good weekend when i wasn't with steph. i wish i had saw more people though, i saw: the Maccabees, the view, Jamie T, Maximo park, the killers, James,unicorn kid, blur, elbow, Lilly Allen, Pete doherty

5/7/09

last night was chris' party, i spent my whole night with sam burch which is hilarious considering i hated her like last year but were over that now, we had a total heart to heart. i was soooo drunk! then rory phoned me, ew.

yesterday my cousins babehh fell out the top window of his house :O OMG the doctors said hes lucky he isn't dead but he has to stay in one if those fully body things where you cant move for 5 weeks.

i have sunburn it's not cool, hopefully it will tan soon.

leroy flys home tomorrow which is exciting, i've missed him. his birthday present hasn't came, it better come soon or i will cry.

t in the park is this coming weekend, ahh i am soo excited, i wasn't excited before but i totally am now. i hope it all goes well.

28.6.09

I've not wrote one of these in a while, nothing exciting ever happens to me anymore haha.

t in the park is in two weeks, I'm still unsure as to whether it is going to be good or not, i haven't spoke to steph about it but i don't know how were getting there or who were sharing a tent with or anything ahh.

i got my conch pierced the other day, Kerry done it for me :) i like it alot but it hurts loads,it wont stop bleeding recently which i don't think is good.

i

really want to go on holiday, i am bored with dunfermline, i want sun and some new scenery :)

Leroy is away the now, i miss him a huge amount, i missed him on the first day he was away, threes still another week to go urghh.

Ross text me lastnight which was a huge shock, i am still in shock now tbh, the things he was saying to me were completely unexpected.

i really really want a new phone, orange need to hurry up and get it in stock.

michael jackson died the other day, i'm sick of hearing about him now, i really don't car ehe died, to be honest i think he deserved it, he wsa a disgusting pedo and i'm glad, i wish people would shut up about him. aye he was talented and made good songs but he was a pedo so he deserved it :)

thats all for today :)

21.6.09

i just had one of the best weekends ever, i went to newcastle for hayley's boss' birthday, i never knew anyone and i was only going to fill up a space because someone pulled out so i got my hotel and train fare paid for which was good, still spent £150 though :| haha. i was kinda looking forward to it but i kinda wasn't because i didn't know anyone plus i wasn't really liking the moulin rouge theme but it turned out to be amazing, everyone was brilliant there all 40+ and acted about 18, they got the tits out at every given oportunity, spoke to every man possible, flirteed all night long, dressed up like sluts and danced seductivley it was hilarious, the moulin rouge theme turned out to be really good i enjoyed it loads. the weekend was like unexplainably good.

i met ravi from hollyoaks ahhh it was amazing, he smelt soo good and was braw.

i cannot wait to get my photos developed.

leavers night was on thusday, that was also really good, my feet didn't hurt at all which was amazing, i kept them on all night and danced constantly and never had sore feet, i loved it.

i feel sad to have left school.

a man that tries to get money off people in the street for charity chatted me up it was funny, he was nae bad looking and he text me on saturday which was amusing.

thats all i have to say for now. happy fathers day :)

xx

16.5.09

not done this in a while! shows how exciting my life is haha

I've been working constantly, I'm soo tired.

leavers night on Thursday, I'm pretty excited :) i cannot wait to wear my new shoes, then i will be able to wear them loads, i will wear them at every occasion possible. I'm glad Aime isn't going to leaver night, that's good, i wasn't looking forward to having to sit next to her, she would just piss me off loads and talk about how much she missed mcpeake and how she wishes he could see her in her dress which would probably be disgusting, like her.

i really really want a dog, i have even considered moving out just so i can buy one, i think about this option often after pleading with my mum and dad that they buy me a dog and their response is always "we don't have time, were never in, the house is too small, buy one when you have your own house" i wish i could because i desperately want one.

my only other option is to force my gran to get one and steal it off her regularly, i think that's a great idea, Mary is my next target.

I'm going to Newcastle on Saturday, it's a moulin rouge theme urgh I'm not looking forward to it, i don't really want to dress up like a slut, it's not my thing i like to be comfortable!, it has to be done eh, it might be quite fun.

i am currently addicted to chicken club baguettes from Gregg's, i blame linzi, she makes them, i miss them if i don't eat them for a day :(

7.6.09

this weekend has been pretty good.

Friday: craig's party, i was kinda drunk, not as much as i wanted to be though. i spoke to, Leo Robertson, Morry and josh Keir's brother hahah we were bbfe, josh Keir's brother asked for my number, i gave him the wrong one. there was a madness tribute band upstairs so we left Craig's party for about 3 minutes and went up there it was pretty funny. me and Marc Vansmant had a heart to heart it was nice, Hayley was extremely drunk I'm glad she didn't try to pull me again. then i stayed at marks, he bit my head, it hurts loads, mark your a cunt.

Saturday: i worked in glenrothes, i was really scared because didn't know what it was going to be like but it was actually a really good day, i liked it, it's good for a change, i did miss my peoples though, glenrothes people were nice though and it's a much bigger shop which felt kinda weird but it was also enjoyable. then i got home and i was tired and couldn't be bothered moving but Leroy phoned and asked if i wanted to go to Jake's so i got up put on my £2.50 joggys and a hoodie and Jake picked me up. we were casually driving to Jake's when we saw a sign saying "art exhibition →" the all round decision agreed by everybody was that we should go, we were driving up a tiny one way country lane when a car came down so we moved onto a bit we thought was just over grown grass, turns out it was a ditch and we were stuck, it was hilarious. the couple in the car got out i loved them, they were my favourites, they went to fetch 'David' for some help, we were relying on David to get us out of this situation, the couple came back with about 10 people, to this day we still do not know what one was David, Leroy was standing in his Jammie's and i looked like tink of the year which made it funnier, me and leroy thought getting int he car and turning up daniel bedingfield and dancing would resolve the situation, it didn't it was enjoyable though. anyway, they came up with many different ideas to get us out, none of them worked, we got left with the camp-mummy's boy-smoking-horrible jumper wearing-farmers son. it ended up me in the car reversing and Jake and about 4 farmers rocking the car and we were out, my driving skills came into good use, I'm a hero. then we finally went back to Jake's and watched spongebob, ghost ship and ate pizzaboy pizza, it was a good night.

Sunday: i was back in dunfermline Claire's today, it felt weird being in a smaller shop but i was back in my comfort zone which was good :). i pierced Abdul's ear haha, he chose the daisy earring LOL. he tried to chat me up by calling me babes and saying "you look sexy without your braces on babes" and also "i will write my number just for you" when he was filling out the piercing form, he also said "are you single?" i said no and told him i was going out with mark haha sorry mark.

I'm going looking for a leavers night dress next week, bit late! i hope i find one (yn)

1.6.08

it's the first day of June today :) it's getting closer to my birthday, i cannot wait. it's also becoming summer, the weather has been amazing for the past few days, I'm gutted i have to work and cannot get a tan :(.

I've had an average weekend. 
Friday: foam party it was absolutely amazing i loved it loads. 

Saturday: Chris' party, it was average, it had it's hilarious moments like talking about Sabrina at about 5 in the morning. however baz came, which is a guy I've been texting and i decided i really don't like him, there was no attraction between us, there was no spark but i don't know how I'm going to tell him, he deserves to know but i have no idea how to say it, he keeps texting me and i dunno what to do, I've tried being off with him when i text back but he just continues to text me ahh it's such a mess.

I'm working all week this week, i really cannot be bothered also we are open until 6, that is the worst decision in the world! it makes the day go on sooo long. 

i went to get a facial off Kim today so i left my house at 20 too 10 to get the train got there bought my ticket and waited a bit then i asked the train guy what time the next train was at and it wasn't until half past 10 which means i would be late so he drove me to kirckaldy. i didn't think about it until after but that was pretty dangerous, i could have got like murdered or something but oh well I'm here now!. the thing i am most annoyed about is the fact i paid £4.10 for a ticket and didn't even use it!

26.05.09

today is a slight reflection on what my life is going to be like for the next few months. 

i woke up at 12, watched lots of t.v before i new it it was 2.00pm and i hadn't even had a shower. 

yesterday was my last exam. modern-it was easier than i thought it was going to be actually i was completely shitting myself, i felt sick with nerves before i went, i even considered not going but when i got there sat down and read the questions i calmed down. i think i maybe got a C.

i handed my locker key back yesterday, walked out the school and thought "what am i going to do now?" it had actually sunk in i had left, i felt like crying actually, I'm so gay haha.

i got this thing cut out my skin yesterday, it was like a blood bubble that had formed into a cyst or something, so i got it cut out and the little thing popped out like a stone, i got to bring it home haha. 

it kinda hurts today, i have 4 stitches in it so i have to wear high neck tops because it's like above my chest. 

i just looked in my bank, i have £11. i got paid £190 on the 21st, that was 4 days ago. why do i spend so much money? 

i am now going to eat chicken dippers and chips:)

23.5.09

i hate working long hours, it makes me tired and puts me in a bad mood, today i worked 8.45-5.45 :( the day went pretty quick actually but i was extremely tired. 

now i have to revise for modern, modern is an exam i can safely say i am not going to pass.

exams are going pretty well, English was easier than i though it was going to be, business was easy maths was pretty hard but it wasn't that bad, modern will be a cunt:( I'm not looking forward to it.

i can't wait for them all to be over then i don't have anything to worry about for the next few months.

Steph came round last night, it was good. i haven't seen her in about 4 months so i liked seeing her. i wish i saw her more but shes with her boyfriend loads. 

i cannot wait until i can drive, why do you have to do theory tests? there absolutely ridiculas threes no point in them, that's my downfall :( I'm going to do it again soon though, hopefully i will pass then i Can do my test. 

16.5.09

Thursday was the last day of school evaa. i was soo excited in the morning, the day was a total disaster at the start, thanks to miss Moore, total ruiner. she wouldn't let us do anything, then Mr Gilmoure saved the day by letting us take the whole day off classes and do what we want. we had the most amazing water fight ever. then it got to last period and i cried, I'm such a pussy haha i cried quite allot. 

the fact I've left school hasn't sank in yet fully, the thing that upsets me the most is the fact I'm not going to see Leroy and mark every day, that hasn't sank in properly but the day it does will be the worst day of my life. 

mark's yearbook comment for me didn't get put in, i was gutted to say the least, i felt like crying, then we went to the office to get it and we discovered they had lost it, woodmill has the worst office staff in the whole entire world.

I'm totally shitting myself for my exams, English was not too bad, it was better than i though, business will be OK, not too sure about maths and modern though, i'm scared ahhh.

Jake's party last night was pretty good, i was really drunk it was fun. i had a three way pull with Hayley and mark haha it was soo funny, i can now officially say i have pulled mark and Hayley.

I'm unsure about t in the park, I'm soo close to selling my ticket. but then if i do sell it I'll be gutted because i could have went on holiday with Kim and i really wanted to go but i said no. then i cant bump steph because that's shocking, because i know how that feels. AHH

7.5.09

i have the cold it's not nice :( at this very moment i am sniffing vics. 

i cant even stay off school to lie in bed and sleep i have to go and feel like shit all day long :(

only 6 days left of school:) i cannot wait to leave, there are many people i cannot wait to leave behind. e.g huss,Rachael. i hate Rachael small, she is a stuck up bitch, the way she thinks she is better than everyone and looks down on everyone is awful, i hate her. 

huss is so cocky, he thinks he is amazing and he quite frankly isn't.

there are also people i do not want to leave behind. e.g mark, Leroy, Hayley 

the thought of mark and Leroy moving away to uni and not being able to see them everyday upsets me to a great extent. 

me and Hayley have became pretty close over the year and i defiantly do not want to loose touch with her when we leave, i will miss her loads. 

apart from that i don't really care about anyone else in our year. 

i have became quite a fan of the bill, me, my brother and my dad watch it every Thursday and it has grown on me loads. 

i need money, i have £5 until the 21st, not good, it doest really bother me that much because i don't want to go out until the end of exams anyway and by that time it will be the 21st and i will have pennies again. 

i am shitting myself for the exams, i don't think i am going to pass many of them, i am confident about business because i find that extremely easy but the rest of them i am fucked. i bet I'll fail business now I've said that haha. 

time to get back to the bill and dying :)

22.4.09

i got my exam timetable today. i really need to start studying. i also need to study for my theory and pass it so i can do my test then i will be able to drive and i will be happy :)

i am on a diet, I've been on it for two days and it's quite good, I'm not hungry or that which is good. 

it's the Scottish slimmers diet, me and my dad went the other day, now were diet buddies. i hope i loose weight. 

i need a new phone, i am bored of mine, i have had it for about a year and it's getting old and shit. when I'm 18 i will get a contract.

i cannot wait until i am 18, i am going to go to Newcastle for my birthday, it should be fun. 

aimie keeps hounding me to make plans for my birthday but i cant because trains and stuff cant be booked this early they have to be 12 weeks in advance. shes pissing me off, when does she no.

two weeks and 4 days left of school. that is exciting but also scary.

i like my exam timetable there all pretty close together, all my exams will be over by the 25th may :) and i will be free to do as i please after that. 

bored

i have a really sore head :(
today has been a boring day, in fact this has been a pretty boring week, i have done nothing, if someone says to me, what have you been doing i literally have nothing to reply with.

i have nothing to write so I'll copy mark and do 100 things about me.

1. i am never in a bad mood
2. i used to love school wayy too much
3. i have OCD, everything has to be perfect
4. i have had the worst experiences ever with boys
5. i find myself hilarious
6. i have never ever been in a fight
7. Mark and Leroy are probably the only boys i will ever trust
8. i used to play the trumpet
9. if there is something wrong with me i will hide it and pretend I'm fine
10. i am obsessed with ear piercings
11. i am extremely stubborn
12. i am probably the most nosey person you will ever meet
13. i hate wearing jeans.
14. it takes me about 45minutes max to get ready in the morning, including showering
15. i hate people that put there boyfriend/girlfriend before their friends
16. i am very insecure and i hate the way i look although i am confident
17. i love dressing up in silly outfits
18. i will do anything for a laugh, except waste money
19. i mucked about too much in 3rd and 4th year and i am regretting it allot now
20. my mum dropped me on my head when i was a baby FACT
21. i put moisturiser on every night
22. i have always wanted a Dalmatian since i was a little child
23. i don't ever want to grow up
24. i eat tomato sauce allot
25. i don't know how to make my bed
26. i eat pretty weird foods
27. i still have my t in the park band on
28. i hate not knowing the time and date
29. i used to have braces
30. i have 7 piercings
31. i have one brother
32. i like nature programmes
33. Luke Pritchard, Russell Brand and Peter Doherty are extremely attractive
34. i like cooking
35. i am pretty lazy with cleaning in my own house but i am happy doing it in others
36. my laptop breaks occasionally
37. i cannot live without my phone
37. i have failed my theory test twice
38. sponge bob and Patrick amuse me to a high extent
39. i do not think i am going to pass my exams
40. i just got a new bed
41. i talk to Kim near enough every day
42. my best friend is someone i fell out with for years then became friends with again recently
43. i have saw my dad in a fight once
44. i need glasses
45. my dad cleans cars for a living it sounds tinky but it isn't
46. my mother is a gym instructor
47. i cheated on my final french exam
48. my favourite colour is yellow.
49. i own about 7 rubber ducks
50. i constantly buy new clothes
51. i cannot resist buying shoes
52. i stopped talking to my gran for about 2 years
53. i have lived in my house for 9 years
54. i have only once cheated on someone, with two people in the one night
55. i know all the words to 'eminem-mockingbird'
56. i went on holiday twice last year
57. i hate being in the house alone for a long period of time
58. i love my job
59. i want to be a lawyer
60. i swear too much
61. i am scared of street performers
62. i used to fancy Johnny bravo
63. i hate tomato's, they have a horrible texture
64. i bought my mum £10 flowers for mothers day, they died after a few days
65. in my house we rarely use the front door
70. i have two shoe boxes and a bag full of jewelery.
71. my brother has lost his driving licence twice in his 3 years of driving
72. my full name is Natalie maria Dobbie
73. i had blood poisoning once
74. i used to get unlimited free texts to everyone
75. i like the taste of fizzy juice but not the fizzy-ness, i always make it flat
76. when i go up town i usually wear a skirt and a top
77. i really like cans of strongbow
78. I'm not that good with other peoples children but i think i'll be a good mum
79. my feet are size 4/5
80. i cry at TV and films allot
81. i have a game cube under my bed
82. my mum puts £15 in my phone on the 25th of every month
83. i get paid on the 21st of every month
84. i am on msn and bebo every day
85. i call my grans husband (step-grandad) my papa
86. i put lemon juice on my hair when I'm on holiday
87. i hate turkey, the place and the food
88. I'm about 5ft 1
89. i eat pasta allot
90. my gran owns the watering hole pub
91. Hollyoaks is recorded on series link on my sky plus
92. i hate trampolines and round abouts
93. i can sleep at any time
94. i am not alergic to anything
95. i have recently found a love for bananas
96. i love pineapples
97. i like when things are colourful
98. birds scare me
99. i go to dancing every Wednesday
100. i participated in p.e 5 times max from 1st-4th year

THE END :)

11.4.09

i feel in such a shit mood today.
work was fun today i liked it, but now I'm home I'm in a shit mood, everyone in my house is going out so I'm home alone, i have nae pals, so i feel lonely and rejected and just shit. i hate being in the house on my own it gets scary, i could go on a walk but I'd be scared to come back in the house haha. this is when i wish i had a boyfriend, because he could come round and i wouldn't be alone.

i buy too many clothes, it makes me feel good though so i cant stop.

my dad has just painted my garage door and my front door grey, it is absolutely disgusting, it makes me feel sick, he better change it soon, i have voiced my opinion so hopefully they will listen to me or i will spew every time i have to look at it.

i really want to loose weight, i hate the way i look. it's eww, I'm going on a diet.

i want to pass my theory test, i failed it again this week, not good.

i have such an unexciting life.

31.3.09

the end of school cannot come quick enough for me.
i used to love school and never ever want to leave. now i have had enough, i am sick of being treated like a 10 year old, i hate being shouted at like I'm a little kid and you cant shout back because you get in worse trouble so you have to stand there and take their shit when your just dying to scream FUCK OFF.
i got a referral today, a referral? wow not had one of them since 1st year, I'm so hurt, that referral has ruined my life and hurt me so much NAT. then teachers talk about Mr Gilmoure like hes going to come and eat you and you'll be sorry you ever breathed when you come across him, today i saw Mr Gilmoure, he laughed at me, told me to stop winding people up and have fun washing cars. he is a hero.
and then fucking arseholes make things up about you EW go and die.
teachers are pricks, they think they have authority over everyone, tbh they don't, there shit, they have no life, they have a shit job, no life, no friends, they shout at people to make them feel better about themselves and to make it look like they are in charge of something, they blow things out of proportion and take things wayy too far when you do the smallest thing wrong like turning up late, even though we got all the work finished when we got there, in 20 minutes which i think is pretty impressive tbh, we still get a referral and threatened to be moved class, if i get moved class i am dropping business, i am predicted an A so they will look shit when i have left and hardly anyone in the class gets an A because there all shit cunts.
6 weeks and 3 days to go.

AHH

i am being stalked.
when i go on msn i receive about 5 messages within about 10 minutes and i don't ever answer, then i get comments on bebo, then i get texts.
i get texts at random points in the day with updates in life.
i think it is probably because she is desperate for friends and that's just the way she is with her friends and she values my friendship which is nice. at the same time, it's kinda creepy. i wouldn't class her as my bbfe, i would put her in the category of an acquaintance, someone i know and talk to at school and say hiya to on the street not someone i would spend my weekends with and sit on the phone to for hours.
maybe she will calm down soon. maybe she fancies me hahaha.

25.3.09

i am soo tired these days. school is too hard and i hate it, although we got our leavers hoodies today, there AMAZING, i will be pretty comfy at school now. everyone was soo excited it was funny all over a jumper that wasn't really worth the money to be honest haha.

i hate people, i hate everyone. hates a bit strong actually. friends who make no effort whatsoever i just cannot be bothered with, i give up i refuse to care about people who do not give a shit about me anymore.

i got new shoes they are amazing, i love them loads i cannot wait to wear them. I'm going to Jami es party on Saturday with Kim the only person i will know will be Kim, so I'm not sure it it will be that good, probably will be though.

i cannot wait until i can drive it will be the best day of my life when i pass my test i will drive everywhere, i will never be bored, I'm pretty much bored all the time i never do anything with my life. it's shit.

there are very few people in the world i can rely on, apart from my family i have Kim, Hayley, Aimie (even though shes about to fuck off to Belfast and she annoyed me alot for a while but i like her now) and Becky, they are probably the only people i could tell anything too and i can rely on to always be there no matter what, and who will never bump me or anything (even though hayley did once but shes not into that anymore). that is another reason why i cant wait to drive because i will get to see them more because i will zoom on down to their house.

Becky was drunk at dancing tonight it was pretty funny.

i really need to do more exercise, I've started to eat healthier but i never do exercise so it's not really going to make a difference because I'm not moving but i actually have no motivation whatsoever AHHHH.

i love Alan sugar he is my hero.

that's all for now.

20.03.09

i feel like shit these days. i always feel sick after i eat, i hate it. i hate myself, i hate the way i look, I'm too fat but i can never be bothered to exercise i need to do something soon though. today i had a sore back and sore legs and a sore arm it was shit.

also people annoy me, pretty much everyone is pissing me off. people that just make no effort to keep hold of their pals whatsoever, i cannot be bothered anymore, i am not making an effort to be friends with people if they arn't making an effort to be friends with me.
so these days i just generally feel like shit. but i always pretend I'm fine, i always smile and act like everything is OK,because that's what i do.



i have a shopping addiction, if i do not buy something new every week i feel empty and upset until i buy something then i feel happy. if it gets to the end of the week and i haven't bought anything i will go out and buy something unsure of whether or not i like it. i go up town pretty much every week and it is rare you will see me wearing the same outfit twice. i have already bought white converse, they are beautiful but they arn't here yet so it doesn't really count as a purchase. i am now pondering over these shoes


they are pretty braw, i don't know if there high enough though, i don't like shoes with low heels. i will probably end up buying them by the end of tonight.

tonight my mum made the hottest chili ever, i thought i was going to die, i was on fire.
the fact that i have about 6 weeks left of school scares the total shit out of me. i am soo worried, today in maths we finished the course, i learnt the last maths thing ever today, that is pretty scary. i don't know if i will pass all my exams, i hope i will but I'm just not sure.

i also have my theory soon. i am not telling everyone when it is, i cannot be bothered because then i will have to tell everybody when i fail. so i need to study for that hopefully i will pass. i cannot wait to drive, it will be amazing, i will drive allll the time, all night long. it means i will get to see Kim and Becky loads more too because i will drive to visit them on a regular basis.



think that's all for now.

AHH

why am i so tired all the time? it's so annying, all i ever want to do is sleep, i'm a lazy fat bastard and i dont like it :(

sleep

this weekend i have probably had a total of 5 hours sleep. on Saturday i went too bed at about 4ish and had to wake up at 8 to go to work. on Saturday i had no sleep at all.

Friday was a good night, i didn't want too get drunk but i did. started off in the watering hole which is always a laugh then on to Johnston's, i love jiggies. we then went to life and my brother had disappeared and went home so we went home to get him about 12, we got home about 1 and my brother and Jen went to bed. me and Darren decided it would be funny to play hide and seek, Darren stayed until 4. i pulled Darren, I'm not proud of it but i don't majorly regret it. i thought i was going to regret it because hes my brothers best pal and you just don't do that, but my brother doesn't know plus it isn't awkward between me and Darren, he phoned me on Saturday and still talks to me on msn so it's OK, he hasn't mentioned it at all, i think he just wants to forget it too.

work on Saturday was nae bad, it went pretty slow the majority of the time and i was hungover and really tired.

Saturday i came back from work and got ready to to go Hayley's her mummy came and picked me up about 8 and we went through, i got a Chinese, it was shite and cost me £8.90 for ribs and rice, BUMP. Hayley's mum and auntie were coming up the town with us so we couldn't go to jiggies first because there too old to go there haha. Hayley had to get her hair done and the wife took ages so we didn't get out until about half 10, our plan was Lorenzo's, bump Hayley's mum then jiggies. we went to lorenzos and got ID'd :(, then we went to somewhere else, it was pretty shit, then brass house, i was standing inside waiting for Hayley and she got ID'd so i had to come out, although it was her 18Th she has nae ID. so jiggies it was. Hayley was treating Darren like shit and it made me feel in a bad mood, she kept shouting at him and he hadn't done anything at all, then she kept going away in jiggies and i was standing with him, i felt soo sorry for him because he does not deserve to be treated like that, she should be treating that boy like a king after what shes done to him. Hayley and Darren argued because thats what people in relationships do so me and Sherry done it too. i went to get kim outside lorenzos and waited about 40 minutes on a taxi, i have never been so cold in my life, i wanted to kill myself. we got back to Hayley's and there was alot of people there, i was totally sober because i had only had about 4 drinks so i just put my Jammie's on and sat on the couch and observed. Kim was really really drunk it was pretty funny, everyone shaved their heads and pubes, i went to bed about 6 but i didn't go to sleep at all because Sherry kept waking me up, i slept for about 5 minutes and Sherry thought it would be funny to kiss me to wake me up so we stayed up for the rest of the night and talked about silly things and snuggled, it was nice. i don't know why me and Mark pull every week were with each other, apparently he pulls a girl once and never again. don't like calling him Mark, i don know why though. he makes me giggle, hes the male version of me.

work today was OK, i went to sleep on my break because i thought i was going to die, i was serving people and it was like i was in a dream, it was horrible.