lies

i thought i would start this for many reasons
1. i have nothing better to do
2. i am nosey
3. i want my life to sound exciting

my life consists of school,work,town,hangover,work that is pretty much all i do, i probably need to stop drinking because the state i get in is disgusting and i don't like it but i just cant hep it, it's pretty funny most of the time i never really do anything completely outrageous that i regret but the hangovers are not very good.

what do you do when someone tells you something and you don't know what advice to give to them? you try to put yourself in there situation but i cant because i would never do that, OK i have once but it was nowhere near as bad. is lying always the best choice? can i sit and watch someone be soo happy but it all be a lie, or can i watch there life fall apart and watch all that upset and watch it hurting so many different people because of the truth. maybe it isn't best to lie, maybe it was a one off, but i know for a fact it isn't and that's what makes it all worse because it could happen so many times, it could snowball into one big giant lie, and hes so innocent, so nice, so happy. but when you think about the truth and you imagine what would happen it is not a good outcome, so many people would get hurt, people you wouldn't even think of would get hurt. I'm glad she told me because it shows she can trust me but in a way i kinda wish she hadn't because now her problem has also became mine when it shouldn't have. i try to think maybe i could have done something to prevent it, but i cant blame myself, i didn't know. AHHH

i have a driving lesson soon, i like driving but i hate lessons, they go on for so long and i just want to fucking drive, i wish you didn't have to do a test and stuff i wish you could just get a few lessons and that would it vroom vroom I'm driving.
my mum keeps hounding me to study, i want to but i just cant, I'm such a failure, this week i am going to try my hardest, i need to, i need to do my best i cant let everyone down, i cant let myself down. i need to try harder in all aspects of school, i need to study more, concentrate, try harder, do homework. i set a goal to but i can just never do it :(.

apart from that life is good :)